Watching Evy my youngest finish school has left me in this weird little emotional limbo.

I'm ridiculously proud of the woman she's becoming. There's also this strange realisation that one of the biggest chapters of my life just quietly ended, without any real ceremony for me, even while there was one for her.

So much of our relationship was built around the everyday chaos. Getting out the door on time. The arguments over nothing that felt like everything in the moment. The laughs that came right after. Mum, where's my. That question, in some form, has shaped more of my days than almost anything else for years.

Nobody tells you how disorientating it feels when the little person who needed you so much starts needing you differently. Not less. Differently. The shape of being needed changes, and you're left holding the old shape for a while, unsure what to do with it.

At the ceremony, the principal read The Waiting Place, from Oh, The Places You'll Go. The part about the people just waiting. For a train to go, a bus to come, a plane to fly. Waiting for the phone to ring, for it to snow, for their hair to grow. Everyone just waiting.

He spoke about not waiting. Backing yourself and jumping instead. Similar to my daily motto, Life isn't a dress rehearsal.

I've read that book more times than I can count, at bedtime, half asleep, on autopilot, the words worn smooth from repetition. I don't think I actually heard it until that day, sitting in a hall full of parents feeling some version of the exact same thing I was.

I'm excited to see what comes next for her. Genuinely, uncomplicatedly excited, the way you are when you've watched someone become fully themselves right in front of you.

And maybe a little excited to take my own advice too. To stop waiting to feel ready before I let the next chapter start. To find out what comes next for me, now that the version of me built around the school run and the everyday chaos gets to become something else.

Don't wait. Back yourself Dani and jump.

That's the Plot Twist

Ready?

DX